ELEVEN SIX WOMEN | JODIE PATTERSON
Photography by Jurate Veceraite | @jveceraite
Meet Jodie Patterson: a dynamic, bold woman whose life and career has spanned numerous roles. She is a mother of five (we are in awe!) and has been a two-time beauty entrepreneur, a Soho boutique owner, a fashion publicist for Zac Posen, co-owner of New York’s Joe's Pub Public Theater, and even a former circus acrobat with The Big Apple Circus! Her journey took a transformative turn when one of her children revealed they were transgender at age three. This pivotal moment led Jodie to immerse herself in understanding gender diversity, ultimately becoming an advocate, author, and public speaker.
Jodie authored: The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Identity, which explores her experiences raising five diverse children and navigating the complexities of identity and family. She also wrote a children's book entitled Born Ready, inspired by her dynamic children. Her advocacy extends to speaking engagements at institutions and businesses focused on diversity and inclusion. Notably, she became the first Black Chair of the Human Rights Campaign Foundation Board, the largest LGBTQ+ organization in the U.S., and was appointed as a United Nations Champion of Change.
We first came across Jodie speaking on a panel at a Female Founder Collective event back in 2019. We are truly inspired by this super woman who fosters such contagious energy and glow. It was an absolute pleasure to connect with Jodie on a beautiful Spring Friday at her idyllic Upstate NY home, away from the city buzz, to talk, laugh, and capture her wearing some of her favorite pieces from the latest Spring Collection.
Jodie wears the Tia Crop Tank & Sally Skirt in Soft Lavender
You’ve done so many things: owning and selling beauty companies, running your own boutique in SoHo, editing books, fashion publicist for Zac Posen, circus acrobat for The Big Apple Circus! You’re a true multi-hyphenate! Can you share the journey that led you to become an advocate, author and public speaker?
10 years ago, the world was much more ignorant of gender diversity than it is now. Lavern Cox wasn't on Orange is the New Black, the hit tv show. Pose hadn't yet debuted and Catlin Jenner's prophetic words were not broadcasted on national television, "My brain is female". All I knew was that my children were rebellious, temperamental and extremely strong-willed. I saw one in particular refusing to get dressed, to brush their hair, and to play nicely with friends. I also witnessed their crippling anxiety in the form of recurring nightmares - "Mama the monster is coming to get me." Eventually, when they opened up, what they said shocked me; "Mama, I love you but don't want to be you. I want to be Papa." I thought to myself, "this kid is going to be tough, maybe a lawyer." (As good as my intentions were, I was missing the point entirely.) I thought that I was witnessing a girl who was frustrated by the differences in how we treat boys vs girls. And so, I responded in solidarity, "If your insides feel strong like a boy, then go ahead and act like a boy." My child quickly corrected me, "No mama, I don't feel like a boy. I am a boy." At the time, I didn't know what transgender meant. So, I prodded and asked questions, read a lot and observed him. And over time I understood the science and biological fact of gender diversity. Some people are naturally cisgender, like myself, some are naturally transgender, others are gender queer and so forth. In fact, there are infinite gender identities. But more importantly I learned to relax and simply honor my son's sense of self. From that point on I realized that everyone's gender identity is unique and very personal. It is how we see ourselves in the world, not necessarily how others see us. I'm simply not interested in poking holes in my children's truth because when we're responsible for leading a diverse team, it's important to build people up, and support their nature, not force them into something. Leaders, aka mothers, should not center gender norms, or cisgender culture, or straight culture (where boys do this, and girls do that). A better way of leading, I found, is to encourage our people (children and grownups) to experience all of life. Now I say to my children: Where you go, I will follow. Who you are, I will support. What you know, I will learn. I've taken that mantra and turned it into my life-work of activism and storytelling. I now speak regularly at cultural and financial institutions, hospitals, and start up brands - communities that are interested in understanding the growing diversity of their people. And eventually I was elected the first black person to be Chairman of HRC, The Board of our country's largest human right / LGBT organization.
Your book, The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Identity, offers a powerful look into your journey of raising 5 diverse children. What are some of the most important lessons you and your family have learned through this experience, which, we imagine, constantly evolves?
Being a child of the 70's and raised on books like Free to Be You And Me I've always believed in freedom of expression. But I had no idea how that concept would be explored and tested in real time as a parent. I've the years, at times, I believed I'd failed as a mother, failed to raise typical, "follow the rules" type young people. My kids are wildly different: My kids are Ghanaian, Swiss, Vietnamese, White Canadian, and Black American. Four I conceived and gave birth to; one I adopted. Their ages span from 15 to 32, and they live between New York and Zurich. We speak English, Twi, Swiss German, and High German. They are straight, genderqueer, transgender, cisgender, and perhaps some things I still don't understand. To say the least, we're a sorted bunch. In ways both seen and unseen, my children differ wildly from one another, with diverse genetics as well as different systems of belief. Some of us are atheist, some have deep faith, many are talkative, a few are introverted, both night owls and early risers, sneaker-heads, and Manga-heads.
And, honestly, many years back I started grappling with fears for our family's future - I would become overwhelmed with the through that we were doomed. I know that sounds dramatic but being different is dangerous - history has proven that to be true. Then by chance, by weaving through the internet, I found communities and organizations that supported non-typical families like my own - Ackerman Institute's Gender and Family Project and The Human Rights Campaign. In parent sessions and by building community of other outliers I learned a new language. (Cisgender, transgender, gender queer, non-conforming, neurodivergent were just a few of the many I devoured). With a new, colorful vocabulary, my vision opened up and I was able to relax a bit – I thought to myself: this isn't about fixing my kids. This is about learning more so that we can live better. When mothers shift – families shift, communities shift. Today, my teens don't eat neurodivergent food or sleep on transgender sheets. They're not slogans, or movements or political tools! They are world travelers, speaking multiple languages, students, brothers, sisters, athletes, feminists, readers, social workers, chefs in their own kitchens, friends, humans who struggle and find their way over and over again, and learn to navigate in world that is arguably against them. What's changed the most over these years has been my perspective. I went from gender obsessed to gender free. From what I thought should be to what actually is. I've learned mental dexterity and proven that the mind is mailable. I've embraced new and bold ideas. I've said yes to understanding life in broader terms. And best of all - when I gave my children permission to be themselves from the inside out – I gave that same permission to myself. It's also about me, the mama, who is also non-conforming. And to be honest, it is more challenging to accept myself than my kids, but that is the forever-journey I choose to be on. Because ultimately, what they want, is what we all want - the right to simply, limitlessly be.
Jodie wears the Gia Shirt & Amelia Pant in Ivory
What makes the self-awareness journey for you so challenging?
Honestly, I've been trying to figure out gender all my life - studying the men around me, from my father to my spouse to my favorite authors. I've always wanted their boldness. And at the same time I've wanted what women like my mother, sisters, aunts and grandmothers have - grace and persistence. I've studied anyone and anything that has caught my eye, regardless of gender. Now at 55 years old, I see that bold approach to life as being one of my biggest assets. I'm a seeker of knowledge. I want to explore beyond gender rules, past safe boundaries, past fear. It's not easy, I always want to hold back and redirect towards a safer more traveled path. But in the end I don't. I try not to worry where I will end up – just as I don't worry for all the great scientists and explorers and revolutionaries that have changed the world. Instead, I think to myself: “Wow! Look at you Jo-Jo - finding new frontiers and creating a bold new world!”
How can we support trans rights?
Educating ourselves is the best way to support human diversity (which essentially means supporting our children and creating generational health).
Something small but mighty is to learn a new language. Language is changing with rapid speed. The way I speak is different from the way my children do and perhaps from the way you do. Age, culture, race, socioeconomics, community, trauma – all play a part in the shape shifting of words. Here are a few that have garnered attention but are often misunderstood.
Biological Sex - determined by chromosome and the body (Males XY. Females XX. Intersex can be a mixture of both)
Gender Identity - Is the way one sees themself in the world. This identity happens in the brain and is not fundamentally about body parts.
Transgender - ones assigned sex at birth is different from the way they understand themselves.
Cisgender - As in Same. Ones assigned sex at birth is the same as the way they understand themselves.
Cis Privilege - Unearned advantages cisgender people have due to how their gender is approved by society
Cis Assumed - When someone is assumed by other people and society to be cisgender (because they fit certain stereotypes but actually is transgender, or gender non-conforming)
Queer - As Newley defined by the LGBTQAI community... its an umbrella term for anyone who's sexual or gender identity does not correspond to established and normative ideas of gender and sexuality.
Toxic Masculinity, Blind Spots, Normative Thinking, Post Traumatic Growth are also new to many of us. Much of the language is coming from queer, black, AAPI, LatinX, fluid, trans, youth. And even if we're not any of those identities listed above, it's important for all of us to learn the emerging language. I believe it is our obligation as Americans in this very diverse country to get to know the other. And the cool thing is that language is flexible - words fit the moment and when moments change and the words become outdated, new language, emerges. Whether you are Queer, Trans, neurodivergent or not, these are things we must all think about and contemplate. Simply to stay relevant. And most importantly to establish a healthy, world.
Jodie wears the Luna Cardi in Ivory/Rosso paired back to the Amelia Pant in Ivory
You played a key role in launching and now co-own Joe's Pub (Public Theater), the legendary live performance venue hailed by CNN as the "pulse of New York." Can you share some of your favorite moments or standout shows over the years?
One year I invited Mr Max Roach and Ahmir K. Thompson of Questlove to drum - it was incredible to see a legend and a young superstar together, jamming. And I'll never forget watching my uncle Gil Scott Heron on Joe's intimate stage signing The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. I took him to heart.
You have a weekend home in Upstate New York. What is your favorite way to spend your time when you're in the countryside, and what does this place mean to you and your family?
I'm a creative, so making money at times can be fast and other times slow - depending on my ideas and the zeitgeist. I never assumed I would be able to purchase my own house in the mountains, nestled between two bodies of water with blueberry bushes galore. But I did! It was one of my most visible coups and I treat it with respect. Every day I take an hour walk with my dogs and appreciate the trees with a hug (I've become a tree hugger!). I walk to the water and just stare at it (it's good for self- regulation). I've hidden things under rocks and searched for them the following year after the snow melts playing an annual game with nature of hide and seek. I cook every meal (mostly vegan), learned to build a beautiful fire, sit still in the living room until the sun goes down while reading only a few pages of a book (I try not to be very productive here) and then maybe if we're feeling festive pull out the projector and watch a film (I Am Love is a fave). I have friends and family who also bought land up here so we may sauna or drink some tequila. Or both. Everything up here feels important, ritualistic and beautiful. I love my life in the mountains, it's arguably where I feel the most aligned.
Jodie wears the Isa Crochet Skirt in Black styled back to her own shirt
As a busy mother of five (we are in awe!), how do you like to unwind and recharge when you're not busy with work or caring for your family?
I'm an athlete so movement is my best friend. I stretch every day (combo of yoga, pilates, and taichi). I also do something that no one understands...but it is the BEST for my nerves. I spend hours trimming and grooming my dogs. It's a very organic, unstudied process of me slowly, randomly snipping a bit here and a bit there until they're a few pounds lighter and cuter:)
Do you have a daily mantra or practice that keeps you grounded?
Recently my family experienced a near death moment. That jolt changed my perspective and made every moment at home more important than anything else. That's new for me because although I'm a mom of 5, I've also been a woman who loves to work, travel and work some more. I'm typically a woman on the go. But recently I've had a hard time staying focused on work deadlines and deliverables...it was as if my brain shut down to the outside world and hyper focused on my most intimate world, my kids. Yet as we all know, the bills keep coming. My response has been to chant and let the universe help me out. Every day I walk an hour and chant: "I receive money easily. I earn money easily. I attract money easily". I know it sounds silly but the first week I found a small stack of money on a dirt path upstate. The next week I closed on a brand collaboration I'd been working on for 2 years. For now, I chant in order to #workSmarterNotHarder!
Jodie wears the matching Mila Crochet Top & Isa Crochet Skirt in Black
Where are you hoping to travel to next, and what draws you to that destination?
I've invited 16 women to Madagascar in July. It's a place I've always wanted to visit but felt it was too big of a trip to navigate on my own. I'm always excited to gather the women and see where we land. Smart, outspoken, outlier women are the type of company I usually keep, and this upcoming trip is part of a series I host annually. Last year we went to Vietnam, this year Madagascar....Calling all Opinionated Women!
Is there anything exciting in the pipeline that you can share with us?
I'm always writing, in my head or on a computer. Right now, I'm between a book and a television show. Both are about women outliers - the ones who don't follow the rules and never, ever, ever stay within tiny tight boxes.
Jodie wears the Ada Crochet Shirt styled back to her own pant
How would you define your personal style?
Personally, I have both feminine and masculine energy. My style reflects that duality. I also really love calming color combinations that play up my skin tone - I think clothing should never dominate...it should dance with you. Recently I went copper (new hair, who dis?!) and now everything I wear is working with that warm energy! Because although I’m a Leo and full of roar, I'm sunshine at heart!
What does the ELEVEN SIX brand mean to you?
I'm always going to work with female led companies so that's that. I also like clothing that is reminiscent of a different time... pieces that remind me of someone or some place before. Eleven Six is romantic and inspires me to dance. You know the feeling? Some pieces make you want to twerk in the club. Others make you want to dance in the breeze of your mountain trees upstate. At 55 I'll take the later. For now.
